o_O

So, when they released this movie I was thinking "oh this'll be some sort of detective action flick with a screwy criminal that's a little sadistic, but they'll get them in the end." Yeah, that's not what this move was at all. And I'll tell you a little more about it. Suffice to say, if you don't like gore DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Law Abiding Citizen is actually about a lawyer who tried a case and made deal. The case he made a deal on ended up giving a murderer a very short sentance. The very first scene in the movie is the actual crime associated with this case. In this scene you see a father answer the door, get hit in the face with a bat, get tied up and then he's forced to watch (after they stabbed him in the gut), the same thing happen to his wife, who is then also brutally raped. Then as the cherrie on the icecream is placed there their little girl walks in. The more evil of the two criminals picks the girl up bodily by the sholders and says "I really like kids," later you find out they killed her.

So, when the more evil guy gets the deal the dad goes nuts and decides he's going to kill everyone involved. He starts with the murderers and you're like "hell yeah" except that he's going for pain. When he abucts the murderer (10 years after the fact), he straps him down to a table, shoots him up with adreniline and drugs to keep in alive, awake, no matter what is done with him, just so the man can feel the pain. Essentially, there's a saw blade involved for dismebering, a hack saw for the balls and a box cutter for the penis. Oh, and there was a mirror above the table so the man had to watch all this open and his eyelids were sliced off so he had to watch. Btw, you get to see the aftermath, buckets of blood and gore all over everything.

This is essentially the first half hour of the movie. And you know, if they had stopped there maybe it would have been ok, but instead it kept going. You can still watch the movie up to this point, but if you read any further you're going to have some shit really ruined.

[NO I'M SERIOUS EVERYTHING ELSE IS WILL RUIN THE MOVIE. DO NOT READ]

So, at this point the lawyer has figured out who did the murders. They arrest him and he's in jail and he starts toying with the process. This is the most enjoyable part of the movie for me. You essentially have a high intelect whose decided not to play by the rules and goes through tons of shit just to embarass the entire court system. I don't admire the man for doing it, but it was interesting to see it get done and it actually gave the movie theme and purpose. If you wanted to write a report on this movie, this is where you would find your substance for doing so.

At this point, the lawyer's wife and daughter recieve a dvd of the murder and daughter pops it in thinking its something else. Family gets upset, its not followed up on too much.

But, this doesn't last long. After he threatens the judge on his case who also happens to be the judge from the previous murder he tells the main character lawyer that he's kidnapped the defense attorney and that if he doesn't get a special meal by 1:00 the next day, the lawyer is going to die. He wants a tbone stake & and he gets it, but they get to the burried alive lawyer too late.

As a nice twist, [horribly gruesome avert your eyes], the man in prison kills his cellmate with the bone of the stake by repeatedly stabbing him in the jugular and chest. He's moved to solitary, where he wants to be.

Next, the judge answers a cell phone call and gets a sonic pulse through the brains. I saw it coming for some reason.

Following that, they are all threatened and told that at 6am they will all be killed. They hang out at the prison and 6am goes and passes. They go out into the parking lot after the female lawyer gives the "I had hopes and dreams and now I'm scared speach" and yup she and almost every other car are destroyed by the car bombs placed underneath.

Lawyer, friend lawyer (security dude from star trek DS9), and his superior the DA are unharmed, until they go to a cemetary and a robotic war machine empties anti tank rounds into the first guarded vehicle fallowed by a missile. Lawyer & friend lawyer are the only ones left.

By this point you've learned that the crazy x-father was actually a spook who specialized in killing people without being in the room at the time. Also at this point they finally crack the buying up of tons of properties by the man and they discover he owns a building right next to the prison. They go in and find tons of explosives and costumes and machinery and A TUNNEL INTO THE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT SECTION OF THE PRISON. They also find a bunch of spy cameras one of which is pointed at the mayor.

They find the bomb, take it back to the prison cell and put it under the guys bed. The lawyer tries to talk him out of blowing up the napalm bomb after admitting he knows everything and then walks away. The man kills himself.

[THE END]

In an attempt to familiarize myself with Steampunk and Horror a little more I picked up this book that I'd never heard of before by an author I had never heard of before. It's a steampunk, action, adventure "family" novel akin to riding a roller coaster. Oh, it also has Zombies:

But anyway, if you're done watching that video, I highly recommend this book. It has a slow start, and while I'm not a huge fan of the prologue or epilogue, when you get to the character driven bits you'll enjoy it through and through. There were times when I felt like I was playing left for dead, so you have to see I'm giving this book high praise.

Here's a little more about it in case you're interested. It takes place shortly after when the Civil War should have ended, but didn't. Supposedly a couple different things happened historically, one of which was Russia kicking of the Klondike Gold Rush several decades earlier than it initially happened. As a result, a competition was held to see who could build a machine to drill through several hundred feet of ice. Enter (and exit) Dr. Blue, who destroys Seattle on the test run of the great machine.

If only the trouble ended there, but apparently he hit a huge pocket of deadly zombie gas that killed whoever breathed it in and turned some of them into Zombies. Those who survived the cataclysm, escaped the city and built a wall around it.

Skip to present day book time. The wife of Dr. Blue lives on the outskirts, but her son runs away to go learn about his past. He runs into the old zombie infested city and Briar has to fly in via airship and I'm not going to tell you much more because I don't want to ruin it.

Suffice to say it has drug addicts, indian princesses, steampunk tech, air ships, air pirates, zombies, gun toting women and a host of lovable and hatable characters in addition. It gets a bit gory, but what zombie story doesn't?

Highly recommend you pick up a copy of this new book:

[1st Support a Fellow Writer]

New contest is up. So if you think you've got a chance with horror or punk, you ought to check it out.

Also, if you're curios to follow the contests an archive has been created here.

And finally, we've had a bit of a gap in getting stories recorded and submitted to the audio portal, so if you have any vocal talent and a good mic, I'd love to add you to the list of Voice Artists who are involved with the contests.

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Other Interesting Things

Writing Contest Information

Blogosphere

I've been deleting a bunch of posts in threads because they were either off topic, a sore attempt at trolling, or a blatant attempt to derail a thread.

So if you find your posts are missing, but you haven't been banned, maybe you'd like to invest your time in another fashion.

Like using a super nintendo for something it wasn't intended:

(To clear up confusion, I did not make this)

Also

Art Request Synopsis [STATUS == SEARCHING FOR AVAILABLE ARTISTS]
a) Flash Ad Revenue Available, Negotiable Percentage, Possible Upfront Payment (Also to be negotiated)

b) The code system has been produced for a flash chat application. I just need to make things pretty now. I'm looking for artists to help me build compelling applications based on multiplayer interaction. Most games will be of a table-top variety, something you might find in your basement such as: Sorry! Connect 4, etc... Obviously due to copyrights, you won't actually see those games; I am, however, teaming up with a Game Design student to release new & original games online. This job will mostly involve me telling you I need X pictures of a specific size that look remotely like this. There will be plenty of room for creativity and your own decision making, I will just be providing a theme.

My Pitch/Details:

Good at art? I could use your services.

I am willing to pass on some flash add revenue to an experienced artist. I mostly need still images, so you don't have to be an animator, you just have to be able to produce some high quality work.

You may need to produce various images which include both people & landscapes. I may also be looking for specific types of objects such as pieces to board games.

The projects I am currently working on are multiplayer flash applications which focus on delivering 15 - 60 minutes worth of game content per session. Each game will need a variety of different images including, but not limited to, menu screens, buttons, etc.

I do not use scenes or frames in my flash movies anymore, so anything needs to fit into a movie clip. I can fit simple jpg, gif, bitmaps or drawings made in flash into a MovieClip so you don't have to understand flash, just pixel dimensions which I will give you when the time comes.

As I said, there will be revenue available and I hope to spread this game to multiple sites!

If you are interested, feel free to post here and I'll send you an im or pm when I'm ready for some art.

I'm slightly interested in some steam-punk western art for one of my games. Will need a variety of soldiers, air crafts, and vehicles. I toss that out as a teaser, but its likely I won't hit that project until the end of the summer.

Please be aware that several users may be trying to get you to go to the Art Portal, Literature Portal, or have you download a "really cool" Newgrounds Toolbar. It is likely that any and all of these attempts to get you to download something will either make you sacrifice your account by giving up your password or put a virus on your computer which will disable your computer and give the virus owners your password any other information you type into your computer.

Please do not follow any of these links.

You may find them on bbs, in a newspost, or in a pm. If you have any information on hacked accounts you may post it here. Please be aware and be safe in your web surfing habits.

More information: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/10 67643/1

How to protect yourself.

1) Be very careful clicking links! Sometimes even visiting a website can give you a virus. More importantly don't download anything from a site you've been linked to and never heard of before.

2) Enable the status bar on your browser and before you click a link, hover over it with your mouse. You'll find that the actual address will be displayed on the bottom of the screen. Be aware that a link can SAY anything and actually link SOMEWHERE ELSE.

If you lose your account, there's probably very little we can do to help, so its up to you to stay safe.

This index serves as a jumping point or start point to helpful information, popular blogs, and well, my stuff too. Keep in mind the emphasis will always be to provide the most useful and helpful links first!

To add your blogs to this post, pm gumOnShoe or post below. Some of these links are kind of stale at this point, if you find anything that just doesn't belong feel free to let me know that too.

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[[Newgrounds Related Blogs]]

> Official BBS Topics - These topics are all "official" in some mannor. They were likely recreated at some point or another and now all of one type of discussion should go on in here. There are also several helpful threads and official BBS moderation rulings inside. All and all, its an extremely useful collection of links if you are interested in a high traffic topic, want to make a new topic, or you want to find out about BBS House Rules.

> BBS Goldmine - Recently excivated, this list of topics are full of pure hilarity, or most of them anyway. Many users have contributed to help find these, and only the best of the best have made it on to the list.

> Contests - There are usually monthly contests in specific forums around the site. This is a good idea to figure out whats going on whether you are into art, flash, or audio. Occasionally there are writing competions as well. Have you created a contest? Add it here.

< NEW !!! > The Audio Report - by WritersBlock - A magazine style blog dedicated to interviews, tutorials and reviews of all things Audio Portal. The owners of this blog regularly accept others' articles. So whether, you're just in for a good read or you want to contribute check this out. The audio report aims to be a community project where musicians and journalists can come together.

> Newgrounds Library - by HybridOfSouls - I'm not the only to have attempted a large collection of interesting threads, nor am I the first. Recently ported over to a blog post is the Newgrounds Library, this collection is of monstrous size and helpfulness. Its a running archive of tons of different kinds of bbs happenings. Feel free to peruse its multiple newsposts for lists of its helpers, multiple pages of links, and other tid bits that have been included. Highly recommended for people looking to brush up on their NG Community History.

> NG BBS FAQ - Aside from topics being constantly recreated, you'll find that a lot of questions are constantly being asked in new topics. To spare yourself the grief of making a topic and possibly be flamed, check out this list of questions to see if its already been answered. Is there a question and answer that should be on this list? Feel free to post to the newspost with suggestions.

> NG Musician's Blog - - by Rig - - If you're into music, this one is definately for you. You'll get a list of everything from suggestions on how to improve your music, to tutorials on this site explaining how to start. It is also a great jumping point for anything related to the Audio Portal and/or forums. Definately check this one out.

> Answers to Frequently Asked Questions - This is the general Newgrounds FAQ, it isn't a blog, but I feel it belongs in this list of useful links. There's a link up above for it, but in case you didn't catch it or you can't find the answer in the NG BBS FAQ, checking this link is probably a good idea.

> C & C Index of Active Clubs - This is the list of active clubs in the clubs & crews section, sorted by topic. Its recommended that you check this list for the existance of a club before you try to recreate it. Its also a great way of finding out whether something exists if you don't know its name or the search isn't being responsive. If you have created a new club, please post it to the user page and I'll add it as soon as possible.

> Newgrounds API FAQ - This is the help blog for adding ads to your flash movies. Any questions should be asked and answered here. Thanks to Psycho Goldfish for that one.

<More Coming Soon>
Do you have an extremely helpful blog that doesn't fit into one of the categories above? If the answer is yes, reply to this newspost and I'll add a link to it here. I merely request that at the bottom, or in a conspicuous place you add a [< Back To Main/Index] link so that the entire group of "blogosphere" pages remain connected and usable. If your topic does fit into one of the categories, consider adding it to that newspost instead. This Main/Index page should remain as clutter free as possible.

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[[Other Blogs]]
To add one of your newsposts to the Blogosphere, post (not pm) at the bottom of this topic. Your topic will be presented as:
<insert topic> - by <insert name>

(((Exciting News)))

(((Stories)))

(((Art)))
Saint's Aura - by Alfie: Ever wonder what ultimate good level icons would look like? He's got the entire set.

Bot's Aura - by Eddie: The bot's have such a low level, if only they deposited, right?

(((Off Site)))
Temporary Unofficial Non-Paltalk Ng-Chat
Fourth Perspective - A website dedicated to being a writing portal.
11 Names Blog Group - Run by some friends of mine

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[[Personal Blogs]]

- Trigger Ethics - A Radio Drama that is currently in production and scheduled to be broadcasted in Fall 2008.

- Upcoming Games:
Shepherd - Press M to Mute the sounds.

- Blog - My Blog - Yeah, so if you don't know yet, the name is Brian. I'm using the gumOnShoe account and a few others to run this helpful blog, but that doesn't mean I don't have anything interesting to say, or that I don't pretend to at least. If you want to pick my brain or see what I'm thinking about everynow and then, consider this link here my real blog. The rest of this is meant for you outside of the personal section.<div class="blogmedia">

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[[ Modish Announcements ]]
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(( Forum Reminder / Lesson: Replying ))
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/92 7102

This is not directed at every user, but this is a healthy reminder. A forum is about more than just the opening post. A forum is a discussion. Even more than that, it is a central gathering point for many people to discuss things. For that reason, it might be a good idea to treat each reply as if you were making a new topic. That is, unless you can justify it, find it interesting, etc, just don't post.

Here are a few basic guidelines on what not to do, that I've seen frequently, and which you might be banned for if I catch you doing it:

1) TL;DR
2) Don't care
3) <insert insult>
4) /thread
5) this is against the rules
6) use the search bar
7) Win/Fail
8) This thread/topic is now about ________

If you don't care, didn't read, or want to talk about something else, then you aren't staying on subject, which means that you either need to:

1) Create a new topic
2) Don't do anything
3) Think harder and/or read

Monthly Writing Contest - April - Spring Forth!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and I have to admit, this contest came about mostly because I wanted to make a bad joke about April having a baby, and this being the April contest, it worked out. I chose not to put it in the entry thread though. Oh well...

Other:

I just finished and turned in my senior thesis. That was a last minute scramble. The final length was about 165 pages, though I probably could have written more. I'm more or less beat, but I'll be celebrating tonight!